BICYCLE GEAR RATIO CHART

We sat on Thursday evening, side-saddle on the pouffe in the fifth-floor lounge, chewing on some fruited bread and waiting for a table, when I became aware of a smell of something burning. An electrical smell, maybe? Or perhaps plastic? A girl sitting on a nearby armchair turned and sniffed the air at exactly the moment I did; our eyes met and we nodded. Something's definitely burning. She called a waitress to inform her of our concern. The odour wafted away from me and idly I focussed momentarily on the menu; on various private considerations; on the game of backgammon I was shortly to play; then suddenly on the pall of thick black smoke engulfing the chunk of world outside the window. A moment of calm, serene clarity - the floor below must be on fire; we have to get out. Now. The peals of the fire alarm seemed to confirm my instinctive diagnosis.

My friend returned from a quickly-abandoned trip to the ladies' room, from where she'd seen the same display; we exchanged a swift, solemn glance, and headed for the fire exit. By the time we got to the street we could see that flames licked only a motorbike on its side and this adjacent Vespa whose burning vinyl seat had emitted such a voluminous cloud, the pair nestled ultimately safely between a cold brick wall, a cemented pavement and a cobbled street.

We circumnavigated the block so as to grant a decent perimeter to the firemen's activities, and returned to the bar, where a much better seat at a table we could now have to ourselves was waiting, and where the queue to order dinner had mysteriously evaporated, sublimated by the fire into a ghost of past expectations, and a waitress appeared, phoenix-like, to take our order. I won the round of backgammon 4-2, with two of my victories sullied by narrow squeaks and lucky throws.

We still havea ton of these dangerous storm drains all over Columbia, MO. This particular one is on Providence Rd., just North of Business Loop, but they also exsist on Stadium Blvd., between Providence and College Ave., Paris Rd., and many other streets.

The only way to avoid them is to go around, which puts you directly in the line of vehicular traffic.